Svenji's Merry-go-round

Integration

2011-04-05T12:30:00.004+01:00

This is what wiktionary says:

Integration (plural

integrations)

1. The act or proce

ss of making whole or entire.

2. (society) The process of fitting into a community, nota

bly applied to 'visible' (ethnic, immigrant...) minorities

3. (calculus) The operation of finding the integral of a function.

4. (biology) In evolution, the process by which

the manifold is compacted into the relatively simple and permanent; supposed to alternate with differentiation as an agent in species' development.

I think for the sake of this article I’ll stick to explanation 1 and 2. So what does it mean to make something whole or entire? I will have to work a little bit on feeling whole again and that brings me nicely to Point 2 ... the process of fitting into a community.

Ok does anyone ever really fit into a community? Is there the slightest possibility that we still are individuals and as such thinking our own thoughts? Ok we are all highly influences by the society that socialised us yet I would like to believe that I’m not alone feeling that I don’t really fit into any society perfectly.

Although I do feel more like coming home into my new chosen residence of Norway than entering a new unknown society but there are still so many things that are hard to swallow.

The first is that: You will not be taken seriously if you cannot speak the language!

You have to open up and make the first steps at networking.

The second one is the point that mortifies me! I never feel that I have too many interesting things to give to people so why should they be interested in me introducing myself to them. I suppose i have a bit of a self consciousness glitch there; however I am surrounded by people who are so highly educated, with impressive CV’s and life experiences.

HMMMM .... lots to think!

Drifting off into nothingness????

2011-04-01T12:39:00.002+01:00

Ok today is the 1st April and it's been a long time since my last post.

I'm just listening to Muse - United States if Eurasia. The song made me realise that I'm sort of drifting into my sleep state again. It is so easy to get stuck in your routines and let life overtake you. I had promised myself not to let that happen ever again.

“People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar

I love this one and this is what I need to practice. Everyday like my shower and brushing teeth.

Euphoria and Confusion

2011-03-11T07:56:00.001Z

What a blissful state! In some ways... at least I am straight out refusing to let any negative thoughts taint my mind. I do no longer believe creativity is born from grief. I used to believe that.

Now I think that creativity comes out of an imbalance; that is not negative because without imbalances there would be no reason for improvement or change. So I’m imbalanced ... Yep!

Right back to the reason why I’m refusing to let negativity get to me! There are far too many good, nice, pretty or plain beautiful things around to concentrate on the negatives. This morning 11^th March I was standing on the platform of the train station in Hellvik in my new home country of Norway and it was snowing ... the world was white the sky a dark kind threatening grey, it was cold and the snow actually stuck to the ground!

My first reaction was ... “oh for crying out loud can we please have spring now!” Then I stood there for another little while and the birds were singing so loudly as if to protest against my thought. The birds don’t care if there’s a bit of snow ... they are much too busy finding love! So I decided that’s a good place to be ...I’m gonna join the birds!

Love you guys ... and thank you for reading

After Euphoria comes confusion!

2011-03-11T07:55:00.001Z

Oh my Goodness!! I want so much! Now that I’ve discovered that I’ve been more asleep than awake for so many years ... I really feel like a teenager ... so alive and feeling all sorts of emotions but so endlessly confused. I don’t know where to start. I am feeling overwhelmed by all the things I’d like to do. Maybe I would feel better if I started listing them:

Dance

Go to a Muse concert

Write ... get the courage to be read!

Help people

Be a better mum for my adorable kids

Have a baby girl

Continue to love my lovely husband and give him what he deserves

Be creative

Teach people

Complete a triathlon

Slim to a fit weight

Yeah I want to express myself in some way and don’t yet know how!

There is so much beauty here in this country I want to enjoy it to the fullest

Go for a several day trek from hytte to hytte

Enjoy music again

I-phone

MUSE

2011-03-10T11:18:00.003Z

Oh how i love the music...

yeah and I know I've missed around 100 years of my life! And about a million concerts I could have gone to without having to share the space with 80,000people! Hmmm How could this possibly go past me! Sooo sad! No use crying over spilled milk ... i guess.

Seriously now... how for the love of whoever is out there... can you live your life on 1/2 burner ... ok I know this is probably a direct German translation but it works for me.

Time for wakies!!!! Big time. As already mentioned maybe this is how fantastic it feels to enter midlife crisis but could anybody offer me the opportunity to let my hair down... please and soon.

Preferably something to do with darkness a dancefloor and lots of MUSE!

Thanks in advance.. and .. oh yeah ... love you guys!!!!!

What am I going to do now????????

2011-03-10T10:14:00.000Z

I’ve read the books twice, I’ve watched the movies, I’ve downloaded whatever music videos I could find and I am still hopelessly lost in this Vampire world! It doesn’t feel like I’m anywhere close to emerging from this haze.

It’s driving me mad.... maybe this is what it feels like to start Midlife crises??? Feels too good though! Although my dear husband doesn’t exactly appreciate the time I’m spending on the books and all the rest ... he’s getting his fair share of fun out of it. For whatever reason the depth of feelings that I have for the fictional characters are seriously rubbing off on the real world! Happy days!

I would like to reach so many people who I know are in a similar situation as i used to be. Only because there are responsibilities and an overwhelming amount of things to remember does not mean that you have to stop living.

Kids are life ...live it with them! A partner who loves you is the best thing (next to Edward Cullen) that can happen to you! Love back with passion and not with shame and self consciousness! And most of all be you and love yourself! Be grateful for the things you have... that definitely is the first step to creating your own little perfect world.

Love you! And I actually mean it .... Even those people who I have met before and used to hold a huge grudge towards ... You made me stronger ... thank you for that.

Twilight Saga - Guilty Pleasures

2011-03-07T11:48:00.004Z

hmmmm.... is there an age limit for being totally mad about the whole Twilight Thing? I hope not because I'm on my 2nd round of reading the books and definitely not 17 anymore!

The Twilight books have somehow awoken something in me, that was dormant for a long time. I think I was under a blanket of sense and reason triggered by having kids and responsibility and all of the normal stuff that happens.

Thank you gorgeous Aoife for ranting on about the books and all for a whole year in college so that I surely could not miss their existence. As a consequence when I ran out of reading material, having just arrived in Norway I searched the English section of the library in Egersund and the only thing I could find, that halfway caught my attention was Twilight. Slightly grumbly at the fact of having to read "teenage kitsch" I started the books and for the first around 100 pages I felt very justified with my earlier judgement.

....BUT I read the first book in a very short time even sacrificing a night because I couldn't put the book down. Well the next step was crystal clear I had to get hold of the remaining volumes ASAP!!!!! No options! I've watched all of the movies by now and am impatiently waiting for the release of "Breaking Dawn".

But I'm soo fascinated by the effect this story is having on me!!! It made realize that there is nothing wrong with a decent portion of Passion ... be it for the man in my life, for music, for my wishes and goals or anything else that touches me ... and there is nothing wrong with expressing that either. And there is certainly nothing wrong with focusing on pursuing goals! I had somehow forgotten about all of that... won't happen again.

Thank you Stephenie Myers for writing the books, thanks Aoife for making sure I know about them, thank you Muse for making brilliant music, thank you Oyvind for loving me!

Ny i Norge!

2011-03-04T08:08:00.004Z

My head is bubbling with millions of thoughts!

My only solution is to just write!

I've just read through some of my earlier posts and realised that my life has quite drastically changed since.

At the time I had just started studying for my 2nd career in Dundalk, Ireland. I feel now I was walking around in a thick fog.

Now we have recently moved to Stavanger, Norway, it has just been dawning on me over the last couple of days that it is starting to feel like homecoming and not like a strange new world. I feel like I'm starting to climb above the fog into the bright sunshine.

This is not Norway's achievement but a thorough mix of different factors which I will probably explore in posts to come... simply for my own sanity. Moving to Norway is a result of the past 2 years and a stepping stone for the future.

I like what I see and it feels right and easy ... that is with the exception of the language (i yet have to get my teeth into that part properly). I am full of joy discovering little bits and pieces every single day and I can barely contain myself with the love I'm feeling for my 3 men.

I want to thank everyone who has ever touched my life and who will touch it in the future.

I don't know as yet what I want to keept writing about but I'll just give it a go and see where my path leads me. I'll trust my instincts.

I always used to cringe at this one but ... I love you guys.... whoever you are.

Here's a theory!

2008-11-26T09:28:00.010Z

In my latest attempt to get rid of some of the pounds, I had gathered in recent years through various reasons I came across an interesting view point.

I started reading a book called the "Easyweigh to lose weight" by Allen Carr; he is the same person who wrote the "Easy way to stop smoking". That worked for me over five years ago so I thought I might as well have a look and see what he has to say about food.

Maybe you can gather from my tone, I was a teeeny weeny bit sceptical. Here is his point in a very brief summary which does not do him any justice:

We, as a species are not really meant to eat meat, fish, dairy etc. He explains this this with a few examples:

Look at our closest relatives: Gorillas and chimpanzees - there main diet is fruit, nuts and other vegetation. If times get rough they do eat animals or eggs but mainly for the reason not to starve.
Look at our own babies: What do they love when they are weaned onto solids? Fruit and sweet vegetables like carrots, sweet potatoes, parsnips. I am still struggling to teach my 2-year-old to eat meat! I thought he is just a fussy eater ... but maybe not! Maybe he is just doing what is right for him and I should stop coaxing him and just start serving more pulses and beans.
This is one of the things I found very convincing: Carnivores itch to kill! Okay some demented humans do too but that's a different matter! Just watch your domestic feline: They pounce at everything that moves. They usually get fed more than enough and are generally not hungry but they will still go out and bring you a little present in form of a 'blue tit'! Whose side are you on in these moments? I feel terribly sorry for the poor bird, but that's nature ... right? What's our nature?

Now just yesterday I heard in the radio that by whatever year it was, food production has to be doubled in order to feed the growing human population.

And we all know about the huge problem obesity is causing.

Just sort of thinking to myself ... Has Allen Carr actually got the answer to several dilemmas? If we eat more vegetation instead of meat etc there would be much more space to grow grain... Grain wouldn't be eaten by cows... Cows wouldn't fart us into the green house effect and global warming(?) .... as some people believe.

I don't know, but he has definitely got me thinking

Something Good

2008-11-17T10:06:00.003Z

Just recently I had a lovely experience at college.

I had been waiting in a queue for a cup of tea for quite some time and was about to pay when I realised that I must have left my purse in the last classroom. So for a moment I was standing quite stupidly in front of the cashier with a huge thirst for my tea and not a penny on me.

The girl that was behind me had watched me desperately search my whole bag and actually paid the tea for me. I felt a bit embarrassed but it was a lovely cup of tea that won't be forgotten too easily.

I hope that one day I will be able to do something really good for this girl because it was a very nice experience.

Being in Barack Obama's shoes!?

2008-11-10T12:18:00.008Z

Nearly a week after the US Election and the appointment of Barack Obama as the next President of the USA, I can not stop myself thinking:" He has taken on the worst job in the entire World, the poor man! I wouldn't even want to get near his shoes nevermind attempting to walk in them."

He is taking on his position in the worst economic situation in nearly a century

He is inheriting a world which is deeply divided. Okay, the part about deeply divided might not seem as scary because the cold war era wasn't exactly famous for harmony either.

He has to mend the reputation of his country which is so bad that most US Americans have been a bit embarrasssed when travelling abroad.

And above all he has two beautiful daughters who will soon enter teenage ... for most Dad's that is probably enough of a challenge in itself.

I sincerly wish him the best of luck in his attempts to solve all the problems he is facing, that he'll be able to keep this calm and gentle but very enthusiastic and driven personality he appears to be.

In other words I hope he doesn't go mad in his new job.

Beautiful Autumn Weekend

2008-11-03T10:51:00.013Z

We're back at college after a one week break and I had a really nice one especially the last weekend! Most people will think it was the most boring few days in the world! But with my two little monkeys I rarely get a hot cup of tea without jumping up to avoid an accident from happening!

So what did I do ... not much!

My husband an 2-year-old Eric were away for the week-end at the grandparents' house in Norway and 4 1/2-month-old Jonas and I cought up on some well deserved mummy-time which was great!

And yesterday I walked the Navvy Bank Walk in the glorious autumn afternoon sun pushing little Jonas who I think realized for the first time that there is a world out there ... he was the quitest most contented baby in the whole world!

The tide was in and I watched a swan family and loads of other birds .. it was beautiful!

Well the quiet time is over Eric the whirlwind is back today and I will probably burst into tears when I see him.